I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize