hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
