I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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