there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Actions speak louder than pants.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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