you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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