your parents love me but you hate me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize