Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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