Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
