But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
