just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
