I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
