i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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