thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
