She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
