Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize