On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I could make wine with my vomit
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
your like the ambassador to my penis.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
