She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
