I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
