I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
