there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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