we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
