he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
