guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
