We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
