The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
