Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
