it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
