Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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