giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
