yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
