im about as happy as oj after his trial
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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