Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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