Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
