SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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