Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize