The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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