Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize