Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
