I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
