Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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