I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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