If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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