and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize