I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
