Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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