Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Let's get the cat blown out
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
