how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
