I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
