I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
