I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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