what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
