I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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