Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
