My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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