I got chris browned last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
