so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
