Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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