porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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