I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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