I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
