New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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