i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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