Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
