i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
