i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
