FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
