Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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