I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
