How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
