nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize