On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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