So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This is my gift to your gina
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
