At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize