If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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