O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Green mimosas i think yes
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
