She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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